Manage Remittances Effectively and Avoid Financial Tragedy

Growing up with an OFW father, my life as a kid was comfortable and easy, especially compared to some of my friends. I always had the nicest toys, the latest and trendiest shoes, clothes, and school supplies. I enjoyed a pseudo-celebrity status inside the classroom. With more than enough allowance to go around, I'd often treat my friends to lunch and merienda, but all of these were short lived. After an emotional roller coaster ride involving pre-marital pregnancy, different sets and combinations of nervous break downs, and verbal confrontations, my dad lost his job.

It wasn’t even a year after when we experienced the difficult changes. We no longer could afford the lifestyle we were used to, but what’s worse is that we continued on living that life. It didn’t take long for us to go under and into debt. We never invested in anything, no property, no insurance, just a promising educational plan. And even that failed to deliver. If you remember the preneed industry collapse of the last 10 years, the company we got the plan from is one of those that closed down. At the turn of the millennium, our family was bankrupt.

Save Now, Not Later

Each year, thousands of Filipinos travel to the US, Saudi Arabia, Europe, and other parts of the world to work. Some end up staying and building a new life while some of them return to the Philippines after their contracts end. Most of these overseas Filipino workers send money back to their families via remittances or bank transfers, and some even send money online.

But did you know that not a lot of these OFWs are able to save money? Despite sending back up to 25 billion USD in remittances, these OFWs, and consequently their families, fail to save or invest as much as we’d think. The Philippine Statistics Authority reports that only two in five overseas Filipino workers are able to save money. So what exactly is going on?

When an OFW sends money back to their family, most of the time, it’s treated as a "monthly allowance" or a means to spend on luxury. Instead of being used to invest, in many families, the money is lavished on goods and services. It’s also a common case for OFWs to be supporting relatives that aren’t necessarily immediate family. Filipinos have the notion that when someone works abroad, he or she is earning dollars and has a lot to share.

There's also the prevailing "mamaya na" attitude where Filipinos put off almost everything for later. This attitude becomes a bad habit that's hard to break, especially if the person or people the OFW sends money to has an existing debt. Carelessly spending money without saving for emergencies or setting aside a small amount to pay off debts will lead to a financial tragedy that can easily be avoided.

As the saying goes, "Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today." This very much applies to saving money: the earlier someone starts saving money, the more money is saved.

Communicate Your Concerns and Be Firm

If you are an OFW sending money over to the Philippines, have a hearty discussion with your loved ones on what to do and what not to do with the money. Ask them to give proof that they have indeed placed the money in a savings account and if they fail to do so for one reason or another, it might be time that you start a savings account on your own. This will enforce a little discipline when it comes to saving.

Work with your family on budgeting your finances.  Try methods like the 50/20/30 saving formula whereas, 50% of what you send via remittances should be spent on basic necessities (rent, groceries, education), 20% should go into savings or paying off existing debts, and the remaining 30% is the allowable expenditure for "lifestyle," or spending for luxury goods like gadgets, beach vacations, and the occasional lechon for a celebration or party.

The good thing about this method is that it’s flexible and you can increase your savings or cut back on your lifestyle expenses, depending on your financial goals.

Support Each Other and Work Together

Help your family back in the Philippines manage their remittances. Your family must understand that you’re working in a different country for their sake, so they should not be wasting money. In problematic cases such as relatives feeling resentful if you refuse to let them borrow money, you must know how to set limits or say no if you have to.

Most of those who are OFWs live with the barest necessities because they send most of what they earn back to the Philippines. It’s a huge sacrifice and you need all the support you can get from your family.

Encourage your family to do research in investment options and details or seek a money expert’s advice. Financial literacy advocacy has been gaining grounds in the Philippines. With the wider availability of resources online, people are starting to be more informed and involved in this. Of course, taking part of such activities comes with risk. Study the factors that you need to consider before investing your money. Weigh in the benefits with risk and make educated decisions.

The one working abroad shouldn't be the sole shining beacon of light for the whole family. Every member should pitch in. We treated our dad more as a financer than a member of the family, and that was our mistake. Don’t let your family make the same mistakes that most do. Who knows? With everyone working together and with sound investment plans, you might be on your way to an early and prosperous retirement.

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Jeff Lizardo is an entrepreneur and a marketing associate for MoneyMax.PH. Together with his friends, he runs a music bar / venue / café that hosts gigs that feature OPM independent musicians and bands. A former Physics teacher relatively new to blogging, his most common literary works consist of lesson plans, grading sheets, and parent-teacher correspondence letters. He also worked on a variety of love letters as a boy. You can follow him @JeffersonLizard.

Love, Family, and Alzheimer’s; Kwentuhan Part 3: Forgetting the Details

This past October, in honor of Filipino American History Month, we began to promote the stories of our community through an initiative called Kwentuhan. But storytelling shouldn’t end once it’s November 1st. Actor and writer Nicole Maxali shares:

“When I first started acting at the age of fifteen, the only Filipino actress I could look up to was Lea Salonga.   And in college, I remember that a college professor wouldn’t let me do my final paper on Asian American actors because, she stated, “There aren’t any to write about!” So much has changed since then. But we still lack positive representation in American TV and Films. Since I began writing and performing as a solo performer/storyteller, my intention is to inspire other Fil-Ams, Filipinos and women of color that our stories are worth writing, performing and watching.

“As Filipinos, it’s not just important to be nurses but to be artists as well. It’s equally important to write and share our stories! I learned years ago that waiting around for Hollywood to write and cast me in a positive Filipino American narrative film was just as fruitless as waiting around for a winning lotto ticket to fall into my lap.

“If I wanted change, I’d have to create it myself! We Filipinos are a hardworking and resourceful people. Just take a look at the first wave of Manongs that immigrated to Hawaii and Delano, California. For decades we have been making our dreams come true in this country, so performing this show to sold out houses and receiving rave reviews proves that we can continue to do so.”

The show Nicole describes is Forgetting the Details, a critically acclaimed tale of a woman torn between tradition and ambition, struggling between her Filipino roots and the American dream. At a recent encore of this one-woman show, an audience gathered to witness Nicole’s talents and to experience the journey of that woman, her father, and her grandmother as they navigate their strained relationships with one another in contemporary San Francisco. Nicole elaborates, “Forgetting the Details has themes that explore a young woman’s Coming of Age, Change versus tradition, Facing Reality, Loss, and Family. The show tells my story of being raised in San Francisco by my traditional Filipino grandmother, yet influenced by my free-spirited father, and the struggles we face as a family when my grandma is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. It's a powerful story that reaches beyond the Filipino American context and touches upon powerful elements of the human experience.”

I had the privilege of being part of that live audience at the cozy 13th Street Repertory in downtown New York, entering with few expectations and leaving floored by the show. Contrary to the show’s title, it seems that no detail is forgotten when it comes to describing the play’s unique characters. Manifesting her unique characters’ complexity through their actions and interactions with one another, Nicole develops her characters with such detail that the show seems set apart from others. As the play goes on, the characters reveal more and more while pulling the audience deeper and deeper into Nicole’s memories. For example, not many can sympathize with Nicole’s father, presented initially as a drugged-up dropout, cast aside by the family in favor of his brother, a college graduate and Navy sailor. We learn later that he, like his daughter, is an artist. He is a dreamer with a childlike wonder, lost in his music and painting, and seeking the acceptance from his daughter that he never gained from the rest of his family.

View the Forgetting the Details trailer.

True to life, Nicole’s characters also display a wide range of emotions as they embark on journeys of transformation throughout the course of the play. The characters express depth and complexity during every interaction, each moment strung into a chain of poignant and real memories. For example, while Nicole was once ashamed of her grandmother’s brazen personality, she learns to appreciate her grandmother’s wit and sage advice, adoring her as they grow older.

Similarly, the show itself has come a long way since its inception eight years ago. Nicole explains:

“I started writing this piece in 2006 during a solo performance workshop I was taking taught by W. Kamau Bell (Host of the FX show “Totally Biased”). During that year, my grandma was diagnosed with dementia and Alzheimer’s disease.  It was a difficult time for my family and for me, especially since my grandma provided unconditional love and stability during my formative years.  So I chose to write about it in Kamau’s workshop. Writing was my coping mechanism--a positive outlet for the pain. After our class final, Kamau told me that it was some of the best writing he has ever seen me perform.

“The piece evolved as I performed it in venues around San Francisco. Soon people began approaching me, sharing their own stories about loved ones with Alzheimer’s. They related to this story in a special way due to their experiences with Alzheimer’s. I realized that my show had become something more than just a source of healing for me. It was a way for people to connect to a piece that was both real and funny. And it spoke to their own issues of caregiving, guilt, shame, mental health, and family dynamics. My desire to add to healing and light in an otherwise dark and painful world of Alzheimer’s disease was my source of inspiration.

“The first time I performed the full-length version was November 2011…just four months after a close family member passed away. It was a very challenging time for me but I continued with the West Coast premiere of my show at Bindlestiff Studio in San Francisco and sold out most of my shows and received rave reviews and standing ovations.

“Since 2011, it’s become a tighter and stronger show. Originally 100 minutes, I have since then cut it down to a 75-80 minute show. I’ve also injected more humor to it. My background is also stand-up and improvisational comedy.  So performing this show for the past three years in different cities around America (Boston, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, etc.) has led me to find new jokes within the show. And working with my director, Paul Stein, for the past four years has definitely shaped the show to what it is today.”

Her grandmother’s declining health becomes a focal point in the play, as her sickness becomes a burden for Nicole and her father. Not every father-daughter relationship runs smoothly, and their relationship is no exception. Both characters struggle between their dreams and their responsibilities, often delving too deep into their trade while familial obligations come second. However, the further and further Nicole distances herself from her father as time goes on, the closer and closer her father comes to returning to her life, especially as a result of her grandmother’s illness. The importance of their relationship eventually climaxes during her father’s death, when Nicole discovers just how proud her father was of her from the newspaper clippings he saved about her, even during years of separation.

Forgetting the Details is simply a play I will not forget. Nicole states:

“I want the audience to walk away with a greater appreciation of their lolas, parents, family, and the loved ones around them. Life in general can be stressful and all consuming. But when we take a step back and appreciate the people in our lives that have shaped who we are, it allows us to slow down and take stock of how much we’ve accomplished with their help. Alzheimer ’s disease in general has taught me to stay present and appreciate the people in my life that love and support me. So go call your lola and lolo right now and tell them ‘Mahal kita’!

“Specifically for Fil-Ams, my show touches on the conflict of being a good traditional Filipino granddaughter versus a third generational Fil-Am with her own American dreams. Most Caucasian Americans don’t fully understand the pressure we face in Asian families of being the model daughter/son or granddaughter/grandson. And the pressures we face to take care of our elders as we get older and having our families remain our top priority. It is difficult to find that balance and especially hard to manage the internal guilt we feel if we pick our own happiness or career over our parents’ wishes.”

I, too, had a grandmother who passed away from various complications, a difficult time when my parents also separated. Audience members will feel as if Nicole is telling their stories, and not only hers. Forgetting the Details is more than a tale of a daughter and her grandmother, told with laughter and drama and everything in between; it’s an invitation to Nicole’s dinner table, her heart, her memories, her story as a Filipina American, and her own human experience.

For more Kwentuhan, read our reviews and exclusive interviews for Renee Rises’ Undressing the Fragments and Carlos Celdran’s Livin’ La Vida Imelda. Interested in storytelling within the Filipino American community? Contact us: eboard@unipronow.org

Women Can't Have It All

In a recent interview with The Atlantic, PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi claimed that women need to give up certain aspects of motherhood in order to have a career. Women and their careers are always in the hot seat because traditionally, women were required to take care of the house and the children, and if a woman didn’t, she would be seen as a terrible mother.

Indra Nooyi’s claim about motherhood versus career does pose some challenges for the fight against the stereotypical traditional family dynamic. Should such a line exists, one that designates how far a mother can go in her career without giving up her role as a mother? What about the opposite—how much dedication does a mother need without giving up her career?

To most parents, the children come first, but should there be a line? Is there no line? Without having had any children at my young age, I can’t possibly comprehend the difficulties that mothers and fathers face.

When Nooyi talks about her daughter’s constant disappointment when she misses her school functions, she says, “… you have to cope, because you die with guilt….” Nooyi has developed an intricate coping mechanism that involves her parenting through her receptionist. Her children would call the office for permission to play Nintendo to which the receptionist would ask a series of questions until she gets a satisfactory answer. Although not ideal, this is how Nooyi manages to be a mother and the CEO of PepsiCo.

On the flip side, can men have it all? Even as women make strides to establish themselves as legitimate colleagues, if they neglect their child even for a minute, it is deemed worse than if a father did the same.

An article in Psychology Today outlines the differences between the expectations of motherhood versus fatherhood. “The modern mother, no matter how many nontraditional duties she assumes, is still seen as the family's primary nurturer and emotional guardian. It's in her genes. It's in her soul. But mainstream Western society accords no corresponding position to the modern father. Aside from chromosomes and feeling somewhat responsible for household income, there's no similarly celebrated deep link between father and child, no widely recognized ‘paternal instinct.’”

Recent times, especially movies and shows, have tried their best to reform that view and bring the role of the father to a comparable degree to that of the mother. The “celebrated” role of motherhood and fatherhood put a great stress on the bonding factor between parent and child, but one can’t help but see the obvious societal disapproval if the mother neglects rather than the father.

Women can’t have it all. If they follow their dreams, they are guilty. If they dedicate themselves to their children, they are guilty. No matter what, perhaps coping mechanisms really are the only way women can deal with the guilt.

Photo Credit: Mario Anzuoni (Reuters/Corbis) and ClipArtBest.com

26 Shades of Grey

“Tall hair, don’t care.” That’s pretty much been my mane (hah) mantra for the past few years. My hair has been my identifier and probably what I get the most comments on, from strangers on the subway, coworkers, and even GQ style gurus.

“What’s in there?” I get asked all the time. Well, I always say it’s where I keep all of my secrets. It’s really nothing more than some fiber gum and really strong hairspray… but I’ve recently discovered that there’s something else in there. Ready for it?

A bunch of grey hair.

It’s an old lola’s tale that using gel would eventually make your hair turn grey. That’s what I was told growing up, but I actually don’t remember a time when I didn’t use hair product. Actually, scratch that – I went through a phase in freshman year of high school when this unfortunate thing happened. I guess I saved some money on hair product, but I now see it was at the expense of my dignity.

In any case, I was looking at my hair in the mirror one day and noticed all the grey strands of hair jutting out. I had a quick "OMG" moment, but then stopped myself from plucking them because another old lola’s tale I grew up with was:

“When you pluck one out, three more will grow.” Was it three? I don’t remember. But it was along the same vein of:

“Don’t shave your mustache or it’ll grow coarse.” What? Damn, lola, enough with the hair advice and just let me live.

Seeing myself in the mirror, 26 years old and growing grey hair made me think back on the days when I was eight or nine years old and we were still living in the Philippines. My dad liked to play this game with my older sister and I, where he would have us sift through his hair and pluck out the grey hairs. We’d get money for each one we’d find. In those moments, my dad was literally a giving tree, with pesos growing out of him.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not at like, silver fox status or anything. I have eight grey strands, and if I had kids of my own to bribe with money to pluck them out, they’d probably decline and say that their reward would not even be worth their effort. But I guess it was just a sobering thought to realize that growing old is a very real thing, and it’s no longer some imaginary rite of passage that seems light years away. It’s here.

I’ll be my dad pretty soon, but I’m also realizing that that’s not a bad thing at all. I’m keeping the grey though. My new mane mantra: "Grey hair. Don’t care."

Photo credit: Webmd.com

Family Talk: Unearthing the Past

I used to think my parents were straight up crazy. Case in point: I was eating lunch with them one day in a humble sandwich shop, begrudgingly listening to my mom give me financial advice about something or another. Suddenly, her face turned stone serious. She looked me dead in the eye and started whispering in Tagalog as if it she were embedding her message in some secret code. The only problem was that I’ve never been able to understand Tagalog, a fact that she of all people knew very well. “What...?” I replied bewildered and frustrated, “I can’t understand you.”

She then drew her words out slowly.

“Hindi...wag…”

I looked around the nearly empty store to see what diabolical agents she might be trying to hide this classified information from. There was nobody but the cashier and two other customers well out of earshot.

“I… don’t… know… what… you’re… saying…”

At last she switched back to English, lowered her voice even softer and divulged:

“Do not ever enter your credit card information into a cell phone app.”

I was not amused.

“What? Why didn’t you just say that? Nobody here or anywhere cares that you’re warning me about entering credit card information!”

“Shhh!”

I pocketed that scene into my head as another one of my mom’s ridiculous antics, and it was only later that I understood why she was behaving so abnormally. I was reading The Gun Dealer’s Daughter by Pilipina author Gina Apostol and casually mentioned to my parents that it was set in the Philippines during the Marcos regime.

“Yes, they called those of us born during his rule Marcos babies,” explained my mom. “And you weren’t allowed to saying against the government. People were really disappearing.”

A blunt blow of realization hit me. I never fully imagined what it was like for my parents growing up through a tyrannical dictatorship, whispering in codes for over twenty years. For a land-of-the-free baby like me, the reality of their past was unfathomable.

Throughout my childhood I’ve heard very little about my parents’ younger years in the Philippines, as if starting a new chapter in their lives necessitated silence from the previous ones, and my assimilated American self didn’t need to know about any of it. Now that I’m older and have shown them I am interested in my roots, the stories are finally starting to slowly trickle out.

For me, the differences between their lives then and now are almost inconceivable. I’m talking traveling salesman to comfortable couch potato, grass mats to memory foam mattresses, farm living to strip mall-studded suburbia. Equally shocking are the tales of their struggles as undocumented immigrants, such as how they were manipulated by their employers and faced the threat of deportation.

The stories I’ve heard, however, are merely snapshots of the big picture. I realized that I know very little about my parents, barely anything about my grandparents and practically nothing beyond them. It’s almost shameful to think that I'm in the dark when it comes to understanding my own family’s history.

That’s why my latest personal quest is to unearth the stories on my family’s past and find ways to keep them alive in the future. It’s exciting really. What lost adventures are waiting to be uncovered? What patterns might I find, what quirks, what tragedies, what might I see reflected back in myself?

I bet there are lifetimes of lessons to learn. I would be gaining a better understanding of who my parents are as people, and preserving a unique narrative that can’t be found in any textbook. What it really comes down to though is that I’m looking for a good story. And the stories that touch us the most, whether in books or Facebook news feeds are those that we can relate to. What’s more relatable than the epic saga of the people who made you?

Photo Credit: Big Fish Games