Growing Up A Pilipina Military Brat

I grew up a military brat. My father, a naval officer, was stationed in different areas of the country throughout my childhood. I moved around a lot, meaning new schools, new friends and, in my case, an ever-changing understanding of my Fil-Am identity. Growing up in San Diego, I was surrounded by a majority Fil-Am community. According to a study, there were 144,234 Pilipinos in San Diego County in 2009. That is over 44% of the entire Asian population in San Diego, CA. Needless to say, my experience in SD wasn’t any different. I went to church with Pilipinos. I went to an arts academy with Pilipinos. I joined a traditional dance troupe with Pilipinos. Looking back, I didn't realize that I was part of both the minority in the larger US population, as well as the military brat subculture.

My father was later stationed in Pensacola, FL; thus began the big move to the Gulf Coast. This was a complete culture shock for me; there were only a handful of Fil-Ams with whom I went to school in Pensacola. I did well in school, and suddenly was referred to as an Asian nerd. I was hurt by this label; where I came from in San Diego, I had always been on par with the "norm." I also felt alienated from by childhood friends back in California. I began to distance myself from friends in San Diego when an old pal called me “whitewashed,” having learned that I made friends with my Caucasian and African American classmates. That’s when I realized that racism within the Fil-Am community was just as present as the hostility we receive from beyond our own ethnic group.

I started high school in Virginia Beach, as my dad received orders to work in Norfolk, VA. Here, there were many Fil-Ams at the school, but I found it even more difficult to join the community. Many of my peers had grown up together; they had lifestyles and inside jokes I did not know how to be a part of it all. So, I sought out other circles of friends. I found a safe haven with the field hockey team, golf team, literary art magazine and friends I made in my classes. I shied away from Fil-Ams simply because I felt out of place. It wasn’t until college that I joined a Fil-Am student group, rejoining a social circle of other Fil-Ams. I was more mature and interested in learning about the culture. I wanted to be engaged in the global community of the Philippine diaspora.

I was fortunate enough to attend one elementary school, one middle school and one high school before going off to college. My brothers and sister were not so lucky; they’ve attended several different schools just because of my dad’s orders to other ships and naval bases. But, don’t get me wrong: I am extremely grateful that my father joined the US Navy in order to ensure a better life for me and my family. He met my mother in the States, and has since become quite a successful officer in the military. My parents have made many sacrifices to give my siblings opportunities in the US. For that, I am truly blessed.

We military brats may seem to have the best of both worlds. Starting fresh and making new friends can be exhilarating. We learn to be worldly individuals. However, this process can also be quite challenging when you’re a kid. We have a hard time keeping friends after moving away, and can find ourselves in a pool of jealousy when we encounter people who have lived in the same house for most of their lives.

Being a Pilipina military brat has taught me to be adaptive. The brat subculture has taught me to be flexible and open to change. It can be challenging, but it is also a blessing. To all other military brats, I wish you stability and love within a welcoming community. You are certainly not alone.

Photo Credit: Stephen Salpukas

Albularyo Advice

The worst of flu season may soon be over, but it’s always good to keep some natural remedies in mind year round. When western medicine will only do so much, I like like to think of the albularyo remedies I've been taught through the years. The Tagalog word “albularyo” is used to describe pre-colonial medicine men and women of the Philippines. The word may be derived from the Spanish word for herbalist. The Albularyo would combine spiritual practices with natural concoctions to heal people in need. When it comes to keeping my health in check, I like to think like an Albularyo and return to the fruits of the earth for medicine. One potent wellness ingredient that is found in a lot of Filipino dishes is fresh ginger. This warming root can be boiled raw, and the resulting "tea" can be consumed for a natural digestive aid that also acts as an anti-inflammatory medicine. It actually helps to ease muscle aches from the flu and even arthritis. It is also a great natural immune-system booster. One dish that is heavy on ginger is arrozcaldo - that can explain why this simple and yummy comfort food always seems to work miracles when you've got a bug!

Another common and powerful herb commonly used in Filipino dishes is garlic. It is a powerful anti-inflammatory and a natural antibiotic. One treatment of the common cold is to eat a clove of garlic raw. If that’s something you’d rather not endure, you can boil 2 cloves of chopped fresh garlic together with one lemon and a dash of cayenne pepper. Strain the water after boiling and add honey to taste. It’s a bit of an acquired flavor, but the garlic, together with the vitamin C from the lemon, the congestion-busting heat of the cayenne pepper and the natural antibiotic and throat-soothing properties of honey make this a formidable treatment against the common cold.

For daily wellness, I like to start my day with a green smoothie. There are many recipes out there - all you need is a powerful blender. A dose of fresh greens and sweet fruits a day blended in a tasty drink will provide you with tons of vitamins, minerals and antioxidants to keep you energized and well. For the cold days, I like to blend together spinach, fresh pear, a banana, a dash of cinnamon and vanilla soy milk. Heat it up in the microwave for a nice, warm, creamy drink. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it!

Shame and Struggle: My Journey to Learn Tagalog

Utak muna ang gamitin mo, bago ang puso mo. (Use your head before your heart.) Lalabas na ang tunay na kulay mo! (Your true colors are beginning to show!)

Hayop ka! (You’re an animal!)

The expressions above (picked up from forays into the living room as my parents watch their teleseryes), random insults, the lyrics to this ‘70s gem, and phrases from daily conversation - these constitute my pathetic, hacked-up version of Tagalog.

Rachelle Ocampo, our UniPro President, says, “Every time I meet new Pilipinos and they ask if I understand Tagalog, I greet them with ‘Hindi ako marunong magsalita ng Tagalog pero nakakaintindi ako.’ They are immediately impressed, and encourage me that it is not too late to learn. My goal for this year is to take a Tagalog course and push myself to learn more phrases.”

Like Rachelle, I can’t speak Tagalog, but I can understand it. It’s a result of growing up in a household where my parents spoke enough Tagalog that my brother Marc and I knew when it was time to eat dinner and when we were in trouble, but enough English that it was still our first language. As a proud Filipina-American and cultural enthusiast of my roots, my inability to speak the native tongue of my ancestors is my scarlet letter, a shameful burden, an embarrassing thorn in my side that tears at my flesh each time my family speaks to me in Tagalog and I am forced to respond in English. As Marc puts it, “Identifying so closely with a certain culture and not speaking the language is like being that kid who wore vans but never skateboarded. At least that’s what I feel like: A big. fat. poser.”

"...my inability to speak the native tongue of my ancestors is my scarlet letter, a shameful burden, an embarrassing thorn in my side that tears at my flesh each time my family speaks to me in Tagalog and I am forced to respond in English. "

My ability to understand prompts many people to declare, “Well if you can understand Tagalog, then you speak it.” To which I respond emphatically, “It’s not that easy!” When I hear Tagalog, there’s no internal attempt to translate it. I just know what it means, even if it’s difficult to explain it in English. ("Ang kapal ng mukha" comes to mind.) But when I try to speak Tagalog - that’s another story. With no knowledge of any grammar rules, including tenses and pronoun usage, I grasp desperately at the few words in my vocabulary bank, taking ages to sputter out a few broken and laughable sentences. Unfortunately, “Lalabas na ang tunay na kulay mo!” is not an appropriate response in every conversation.

Some immigrant parents purposely don’t teach their children their native language so they’ll grow up Americanized, sparing them from the difficulties of learning English as a second language and having an accent. The thought process behind my parents’ decision to refrain from teaching me Tagalog didn’t go that far. In fact, there didn’t seem to be a decision at all. It simply didn’t happen. This has spawned eternal resentment from my end and the occasional tirade to my parents (“I could’ve been bilingual. Instead, I’m paying to learn a language I should already know!”), who respond to my tired complaints by rolling their eyes.

My best friend for the next few weeks.

"Language is the unique expression of a culture through sounds, words and the strange idioms and melodic inflections those sounds and words compose."

I can keep griping or I can do something to fill this linguistic void, which is why I’m currently taking a Tagalog class. Thanks to The Filipino School of NY & NJ, I’m enrolled in a five-week conversational course. It’s unrealistic to think I’ll be a pro in five weeks, but it’s a solid start. Again, like Rachelle, one of my life goals is to learn Tagalog, to converse fluently with my relatives, to speak confidently to strangers while getting around in the Philippines and to feel closer to my culture. Language is the unique expression of a culture through sounds, words, and the strange idioms and melodic inflections those sounds and words compose. To know another language is to have a gift, a skill, a key to another way of life through its lovely and complex verbal structures. In other words, it automatically makes you cooler.

It will take a lot of work, but I will learn Tagalog, despite the shame and struggle. Now excuse me while I do my homework and practice that simultaneously wretched and awesome “nga” sound.

Emerging Leader: Pat Austria

Current residence: McLean, Virginia Hometown: Alabang, Philippines Age: 21 College of William & Mary, 2013 International Relations and Process Management and Consulting (with a concentration in Entrepreneurship)

Meet Pat Austria, a driven Pilipina, ready to inspire the world. This wonder woman has worked for Development Gateway and the World Bank as a geo-coder and consultant. In the aid field, that means she has mapped out aid projects and overlaid it with poverty-related data, in hopes of promoting collaboration and accountability among agencies and organizations. As an intern for Project for International Peace and Security (PIPS), a she focused on solving international problems through innovative means. Her team presented their policy brief to individuals of the academic and professional political community.

“I’m an undergrad and I’m young. But I can make a lot of impact,” says Austria, after reflecting on her experience with PIPS. Austria also exhibits her tenacity and drive for making such an impact through her passion for youth issues.

“Children’s issues are pure and innocent [and] not clouded by politicization,” explains Austria. She fears that young people are  discouraged by economic situations, diseases and disabilities. As the Executive Director of William & Mary's Students for St. Jude, she saw this first-hand while visiting the hospital during the summer. Her experiences with Dreams for Kids and Buddy Ball have shown her how sports can inspire inner city, underprivileged and disabled youth.

“You don’t have to change the world, but you can inspire someone and maybe they can do it,” Austria adds, as she explains her hope for todays’ and future young people. Austria has also been involved with the Pilipino community.

“The Philippines is impoverished [but] full of love and excitement,” notes Austria. “People are willing to help each other when children [of other families] grow up together.” While working with Development Gateway in Summer 2011, she was granted the opportunity to pursue her own research on innovative technology and disaster management in the Philippines.

“Everyone has a cell phone,” Austria notes. “Maybe no TV or fridge, but they have cell phones.” Currently, Austria is developing a four-part platform to tackle natural disasters. It includes the utilization of an SMS alert system, victim map, road status map and donor map, all of which can be accessible by mobile phone. She hopes this crisis network model can be applied internationally. Her research is funded by a William & Mary Charles Center grant and entrepreneurship conference competitions. Though she receives positive feedback from both US and Philippine government officials and professionals, her social venture is going slower than anticipated. Nevertheless, she does not want to rush it. Should her venture be developed, it will be free and accessible to all.

Pat Austria may be young, but continues to addresses problems scaling from the international to the local level. As advice for fellow emerging leaders, Austria offers the following:

“Figure out what you’re passionate about and take initiative. If you don’t see anything that fits, forge your own path and put yourself out there. Believe in yourself.”

Photo credit: Pat Austria

The Words That Bind Us

I sometimes wonder about the words that come into people’s minds when they look in the mirror. As a former student of literature and journalism, words affect me deeply - words are never just words to me. They create boundaries and definitions. Words are capable of shattering and undoing, but also of rebuilding and morphing. And perhaps it’s this preoccupation with semantics that troubles me when it comes to selecting the words I use to define me. When I look into the mirror, I don’t see an Asian, and never have, despite the fact that this is might be the first thing most people first see about me. I feel uncomfortable marking in Asian for anything that asks for my race. To me, Asian is just as loaded a label as “Oriental.” “Asian Pride” is something I’ve never felt close to. I don’t know how many times I’ve been told things like “You’re Asian, right? So you must be good at math.” Or, “So you’re studying to be a nurse?” a question that has long irritated me with its double assumptions: Asian girls study nursing, Asian boys study engineering. All of these absurd presumptions that I couldn’t relate to have made me resistant to adopting the word “Asian” as part of my identity.

What baffles me the most is when these presumptions come from the Asian community. If I announce that I don’t identify as an Asian, it has sometimes been taken as derogatory or offensive. I understand the lens by which I view the term has been shaped by stereotypes imposed by society, and that doesn’t necessarily make it the correct definition of the word. But that raises the question of whether or not labels HAVE to be defined by stereotypes in order to relate to them.

I am more intrigued than I am disturbed that I don’t see an Asian in the mirror. I would rather be confused by the name, space and place that I take up in the world, than be bound to the limits of race and origin that others may impose on me. I write this with absolutely no answers, only questions. I’m not trying to say anyone who does identify with the term "Asian" is wrong or fitting of any stereotypes by virtue of simply using a word to define themselves. The problems of defining oneself are ongoing, fluid and changeable, and highly unique to an individual.

I am always curious to know what others identify with, or reject. I’m beginning to understand the value of questions, because that opens up a dialogue. So, I ask: will we ever be able to disassociate words with their stereotypes? Can the label "Asian" ever hold within it, the complex identities of all the individuals it qualifies?